


How Do you Say I Love You

by Who_First



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Love Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-16
Updated: 2012-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-29 15:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim’s being sent love letters and wants to know who from</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tea-solves-everything](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tea-solves-everything).



“ _My darling Robin, no rose will ever be as red or as sweet as you_.” Selina was gleeful as she dropped the letter in front of him. “Where did you get this Kitten?”

Tim let his head thump against the dining table and groaned.

“It’s _sweet_ Kitten. You’re getting your own love letters, I’m so proud of you.” Selina pinched his cheek. “You might not be able to flirt yet but this is good. Do you know who it’s from?”

“No there are not enough similarities between the letters to make a hypothesis of who is sending them.”

“Letters?” Selina sat opposite him chin in her hands. “Oh Kitten don’t leave me hanging.”

Tim raised his head enough to speak clearer, pouting cutely as he did, and sighed.

“There may be one or two others that I’ve received.”

“One or two?” Selina, while being female thus not interesting and his almost mother, could still purr really well.

“Maybe ten or twenty.” Tim was irritated. “And I still can’t figure out who is sending them.”

“Could it be more than one person?”

“No the hand writing’s the same,” Tim glared _, I did think of that thank you very much_ , tapping his fingers against the letter Selina dropped. “But the writing style… it seems different each time.”

“Oh? Maybe he’s trying to throw you off.”

“Probably yes.” Tim looked up frowning, “What makes you think the sender is a he?”

“Really Kitten? Not everyone is as blind as you to the ways of love.” Selina sighed, reaching out to pat his cheek, before continuing. “It’s obvious that you’re not into women Kitten.”

“I didn’t think it was that obvious.” Tim flushed pink and chewed on his lip.

“You just leave the matters f love to the professionals Kitten.”

Another pat to the cheek, complete with cooing, and Tim really wanted to remind her he wasn’t actually a kitten.

“Have you put a list together?”

“Of who could be sending them?” At Selina’s nod Tim blushed again. “Yeah. Kon didn’t send them.”

“Kon? You only had one suspect?”

“It wasn’t Bart either.”

“Kitten sometimes I think you’re more an ostrich than robin.” Selina stood up putting on the coffee, _manna from the heavens_ , and gave Tim her ‘pity’ look. Aka her ‘I almost feel sorry for you poor sucker but I’m still going to rob you blind’.

“Go get some paper and pen.”

Under Selina’s arched eyebrow of doom, Tim moved quickly retrieving the required objects.

“Now let’s list every male that flirts with you and has enough brain cells to multiple letters and _not_ get caught.” One finger was bouncing against Selina’s chin as she thought.

“It can’t be that many,” Tim protested but still got ready to write.

“Please Kitten. Everyone flirts with you. There’s just not many that could get away with sending love letters. Leave the paper with me and go fetch the other letters.”

“I thought you said cats don’t fetch.”

“You’re not being very catlike today. Go. Fetch.”

Selina leaned back against the counter, pen and paper in hand, chewing on the pen as she thought. By the time Tim came back with a shoebox she was leaning over the counter pen flying across it the paper. And she had her ‘ _cat that ate the entire aviary of canaries’_ grin. Something that she tended to save for only the most thrilling of heists. Like the time she got away with the Hope Diamond… not that she kept it for long.

“You… thought of some names?”

“Oh Kitten I thought of more than some.” Selina was purring again. “Is that all the letters?”

“There may be more than twenty.” Tim dropped the box with a muffled thump.

“Of course Kitten. Read me some of those.”

“Why?”

“I want to see if they match up with any of the people I thought of.”

There was a very loud and embarrassed silence from Tim, long enough that Selina looked up at him.

“Is something wrong Kitten?”

“Some of the letters are….” Tim shrugged and started pulling out letters, Selina watched in fascination at the range of color in the papers.

“Descriptive?” Selina had the grinning smile back on. “Go on Tim darling.”

“Selina…fine. _Timothy must be ancient for beautiful ass because none can match up to yours_.”

Selina looked up eyes blinking, eyebrows in her hair, and pen half hanging from her mouth.

“Interesting.” Selina tipped her head to the side. “Well maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“I prefer my asses a bit older. Continue.”

“Thanks.” Tim’s face was a study in blankness… with two bright pink spots high in his cheeks. “Does that sound like anyone on your list?”

“Most of them Kitten.” Selina cocked her head to the side, studying the names she’d written down. “You won’t be happy but I think I need to cross off all the heroes.”

“Wait… you have people other than heroes?”

“Tim have you ever paid attention to your enemies? Or anyone’s enemies that run into you?” Annoyance was crossing Selina’s face.

“No.” Tim glared at the shoebox as he lifted another letter out. “ _The red of your lips would be divine around the red of my dick._ ”

“Wow.”Selina was looking very amused now. “Have they become more descriptive as you get them?”

“No,” Tim shoved a hand through his hair putting that letter aside. “All are one to three sentences and it can be sweet or suggestive haven’t noticed any patterns. There’s ones like this too: _The blue of your eyes matches the blue of the heavens and I would sell the universe to watch them_.”

“Hmm.” The pencil tapping was getting a bit annoying. “Well it’s probably not Ra’s if some are so graphic… maybe.”

“Ra’s?!”

“Oh Kitten, he’s been after your ass since the first time he saw you.”

“Oh god.”

“Hmm yes. I thought Bruce was going to have a stroke about it the first time he mentioned it.”

“Does anyone else know that?”

“Timothy. Everyone knows; he kissed you last time you fought!”

“I thought it was like in the mafia! The kiss of death!”

“Sweetie that doesn’t normally involve tongue.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Tim.” Selina put her face in her hands. “Knowing now that every male in the universe finds your ass attractive is there anyone you can think of?”

“Well…” Tim flipped quickly through the other letters. “There’s always colors. In all the letter there’s always one color, often repeated in the same letter.”

“Okay,” Selina nodded. “So someone who likes colors. That narrows it down.”

“Yeah…” Tim leaned forwards, fingers threaded together as he thought, chewing on his lip again.

“Maybe Dick.” Selina offered pouring coffee. “He certainly likes colorful things.”

“You can’t seriously think my brother might be interested in me.”

Selina gazed at Tim with hooded eyes.

“No of course not.” Selina rolled her eyes. “Where do you find these?”

“Well they’re always….” Tim trailed off, bolting upright. “Oh.”

“Oh? This sounds promising. Tell me Kitten what has your detective mind thought up?”

Tim didn’t answer, quickly thumbing through the tiny letters, until he held one up and stared through it. The blocky letters seemed to swim in front of his eyes and he froze.

“I did get one letter that didn’t have a color. The first one.” Tim smiled, folding the letter up and placing it in his pocket.

“ _I would take you anywhere in the world for your smile_.”


	2. Ti Amo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite pairings aren't very common.

“Come on Kitten it’s not nice to keep secrets. Tell me who it is?” Selina was lying on her back across Tim’s legs one hand in the air waving at his face.

“No curiosity killed the cat Selina.”

“And satisfaction brought it back.” Selina arched against him. “Well if you won’t tell me I suppose I’ll have to guess.”

“Please don’t.”

“Timmy you’re sweet but naive. Who knows if you’re right.” One hand reached up to pat his cheek. “Shall we start from the top?”

“Hmm.”

“Bruce?” Selina gamely ignored Tim’s sudden coughing fit. “He’s handsome and he would know everything so you don’t have to worry about explaining and he’s already family so you’re less likely to get cock blocked.”

“Selina please shut up.”

“On the other hand he is a paranoid bastard that’s incapable of showing emotion. I don’t suggest ever getting together with him Kitten.” 

“He’s my father.”

“Now Dick, Jason, and Damian have the same pros. But… well I hate to mention Dick’s taste in colors but it really should be repeated and repeated often. On the other hand he is very loving and flexible. Trust me Kitten you want someone who is flexible.”

“You’re talking about my oldest brother Selina he wouldn’t be interested.”

“Really? Better question why do you keep avoiding that idea? You did stalk the Bat Clan for how many years?”

Tim did his blank faced quiet thing again.

“That’s what I thought. Jason would end up a lot of fun but possibly still insane. Once you got through the swearing and violence, I imagine he’s very loving.” She paused playing with Tim’s dangling hair. “I’m not sure about Damian. He’s very closed off… but I have seen him watching you.”

“Both Jason and Damian hate me.” Tim _would not think about Damian eyeing him. No. No way….what would Damian be like in bed? No!_

“Hate is very close to love sweetie.”

“Both have tried to kill me.”

“They might have just wanted your attention.” Selina seemed to think hard about that, half smirking. “Never mind the only one of those four capable of writing any of the love letters you received would be Dick. So he’s a possibility.”

“Selina…”

“Hush. Ra’s.”

“No. He’s insane, immortal, and has tried to kill me before.”

“He’s also very sophisticated and hot.”

Tim stared at the ceiling trying hard not to blush or show any other emotion.

”Maybe a little bit.”

Selina _squealed_ , wrapping her arms around Tim’s neck to pull him down for a kiss on the cheek.

“I knew you couldn’t be asexual Kitten! Is it Ra’s?”

“No…. I don’t think so.” Tim frowned. “I don’t think he’d be able to get to all the places I’ve found letters but I might be wrong.”

“Hmm that is a good point. Too bad you’d have a very rich life if you moved in with him.”

“Just because I… appreciate his looks doesn’t mean ever I’d love or live with him.”

“You have so much more to learn Kitten. What about…. well the sender knows your real identity so it can’t be anyone from Gotham.”

“Thank you god.”

“Most of the heroes you know I can’t see being crafty enough to leave letters without you discovering them…Who do you work with in the Teen Titan’s again?”

“It’s not any of them.”

“You sound sure. Superboy always seems to be sweet on you. Didn’t you meet thanks to Pamela?”

Selina grinned as Tim stayed silent.

“Tell me Kitten, do I have to go buy a shotgun and show up where he lives?”

“No.” Tim was still staring off into space. “He likes girls so does Bart so neither of them would be interested.”

“Tim…” Selina sighed, pouting up at Tim. “One of these day’s we’re going to have a real sex talk. I can’t imagine anyone taught you enough. It’ll be good for you.”

“I think that will be the day I let Damian kill me.”

“Kitten you’re being unreasonable. Hmm who else… Slade?”

“Deathstroke?!”

Selina cocked her head back to stare at him; fingers reaching up to make sure that Tim hadn’t actually had the heart attack that it looked like.

“Do you know another Slade?” Selina did look somewhat concerned.

“Dick’s enemy? The one that’s been chasing Dick since he was Robin?”

“It’s not just Dick Tim.” Selina spoke very slowly really hoping Tim wasn’t about to faint on her. “Slade goes after every Robin, didn’t you hear about him and Jason? Both seem to have enjoyed him.”

“I….”

“Tim! No don’t faint!”

“I’m not fainting.” Tim still looked like he was going into shock.

“Good. I’m surprised you haven’t met him.”

Tim was silent.

“Have you met him?”

“He has silver hair and a single eye right?”

“Tim?!”

“I might have seen him briefly at one of Brucies’ events.” Tim looked to one side shock disappearing in favor of blushing until his cheeks caught fire. “Said hello, nothing more.”

“Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne. If that is an erection under my head you will never live it _down_.”

“Selina I will send all your Catwoman toys to a dog pound.”

“I was just teasing Kitten. It’s good that you have some interest in the older gentleman. So is it him?”

“I’m really pretty sure it’s not.”

“Damn. I’d love to see Dick and Jason’s expression if it was. Or Bruce! Oh Kitten can I tell Bruce that Slade’s interested in you? It would be so funny.”

“You’d give him a heart attack and he’d go after Slade and get himself killed.”

“Would that be so bad?” Selina stretched again busily purring. “If you don’t tell me I’ll keep guessing Kitten.”

Tim tucked his head against his chest and mumbled.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you talking to your chest.”

“I only know one person that… _might_ be interested and would be able to get the letters everywhere.”

“Oh? Just where is everywhere?”

“Batcave infirmary under my pillow. That’s where I found the first one after Clayface broke half my ribs.”

“Well then it could only be one of the Bats.” Selina was pouting again. “I thought you were a good detective.”

“Do you know all of Dick’s old enemies? Frenemies is a better word.”

“I do keep track of you Bats. Who else is going to take care of you when your lack of common sense pops up?”

“Thanks Selina… so?”

“Kitten you’re being difficult… Hmm. Someone who could get everywhere, know who you are, and hopefully isn’t insane.”

“Not sure he isn’t insane.” Tim muttered.

“Timothy!” _Whining! She was whining_. And twisting his hair he still had around her fingers.

“ _Red-X_ ”


End file.
